Kenner’s Dreaded 4-Headed Political Imbecillus Rears It’s Ugly Head

Like a Phoenix that continues rising from the ashes, Kenner’s Dreaded 4-Headed Political Imbecillus of Mayor Mike Yenni, Councilwoman-At-Large Maria DeFrancesch, District 4 Councilman Lenny Cline and JP Councilman Ben Zahn continue to provide great material for yours truly.

There are times when I honestly believe that the amount of eggs used to produce these 4 clowns is more than their combined IQs.

While St. Bernard Parish struggles to determine the cause of the brain-eating amoeba infiltrating their water supply, I'm wondering why no one is asking Veolia to test the water at 1801 Williams Blvd.

As for Little Ben Zahn, well, he's still walking in circles down the Yellow Brick Road trying to figure out if he asks the Wizard whether to give him the gift of height or a brain.

Sorry Ben, the Wiz says you can't have either.

Or good looks and a personality so I guess you're really out of luck.

To the surprise of no one, these 4 also share the same political consultant – Greg Buisson. Yes, he helped them all get elected/appointed but c’mon, you should also service your clients when it’s not election time or, in the case of these 4, keep them away from microphones.

Unless, of course, you don’t mind me writing about them on a regular basis.

IMBECILE #1 – MIKE YENNI

Yes, Kenner Mayor Mike Yenni is the King of the Kenner Political Imbeciles.

I know you're shocked...

While his past ignominies (attempting to double property taxes, tripling sewerage fees, taking on the largest debt in Kenner’s history without voter approval, among other things) certainly qualify Yenni for the continued top spot, what he said this week adds more distance between him and his equally contemptuous challengers.

At the annual State of the City Address, which used to occur in December but was moved last year to just before the election (imagine that, right?) and was moved again to be closer to another election (why are we not surprised?), Yenni claimed that Kenner is “one of America’s great success stories”.

What???

Now, before you jump down my throat please know that I’ve lived in Kenner for 14 years. Despite opportunities to move to other cities (although, according to Greg Buisson, I’ve lived in every American city already), I choose to live in Kenner. Despite its lack of Million Dollar Bike Paths to Nowhere, the horrible inconvenience of trying to dodge traffic while trying to cross the street at Williams and Vets, and the fact that retail businesses continue to leave Kenner like our money has the plague, I like living here.

So, how can a city with over ½ of its net worth tied up in long-term debt for generations as the Mayor attempts to push through even more debt to pay off his political contributors; with a mall that looks like a ghost town on most days; with a nearly vacant shopping center across from the mall (yeah, I know, there’s a new home store, so make sure you shop Kenner First as you give your money to a Texas Retailer right Mikey?); with more commercial blight than the whole of Jefferson Parish; and a Mayor who couldn’t even serve 1 year of his 4-year term before he decided that he deserved a promotion, be a “great success story”?

And, if it is a “great success story”, why aren’t we giving back the 2033 Plan Debt that Yenni incurred without your approval?

We don’t need it right? We’re already a “great success story”!

Even The Times-Picayune pointed out in the first paragraph that Yenni’s speech was “thin on examples of that (Yenni’s “ambitious”) agenda.

There are times when I actually believe the folks at The T-P laugh almost as hard as I do when they hear Mikey’s bs.

Yenni also addressed Kenner’s windfall of $9.3 Million from the BP oil spill settlement.

"Imagine how those funds will be put to good use as we reshape Kenner for generations to come," Yenni said. He gave no hint of his administration's plans for the money.

Of course he didn’t – he hasn’t spoken to his political contributors yet to divvy up the booty.

Ben Myers also pointed out yet another example of why Yenni leads the Imbecile Parade:

"Laketown will revolutionize the way we use Lake Pontchartrain," Yenni said.

Can you please explain to me how a mix of retail, restaurants, lodging and residences, will “revolutionize the way we use Lake Pontrchartrain”? Don’t most folks use the Lake to fish, boat or some other recreational use? Didn’t Kenner just spend millions to rebuild the pier so folks could fish?

Who writes this stuff for Yenni? Yes, you guessed it – Greg Buisson.

While I could go on all day about Yenni and his ace strategist Greggo, let’s move on to Imbecile #2, who also happens to be a client of Buisson (in fact, according to his campaign reports he’s still paying off the win bonus from his victory over me in 2011, and still charging almost every meal he eats to his campaign contributors), the one and only man who sued me twice (and lost both times)

IMBECILE #2 – BEN ZAHN

Just as Kenner received a nice chunk of BP money (and will squander it on graft and projects that won’t do anything meaningful for Kenner), Jefferson Parish got a massive amount from the BP oil spill settlement - $53 Million! Of course, that’s before attorney’s get their cut.

And how is JP spending this windfall? Coastal restoration? Additional storm protection? Our portion of Pump to the River funding? Money to combat erosion at Grand Isle?

Of course not.

The unlicensed florist, Ben Zahn, wants to use a chunk of the one-time money to give 5% raises to Parish employees. Of course, Zahn doesn’t know how much the raises will cost, or how the parish will pay for the increased salaries next year, or the year after, or any year, but why let simple math get in the way, right Ben?

Repeat after me – Non-recurring (one-time) money should NEVER be used for recurring (every year) expenses (like salaries).

According to Little Ben and the aformentioned Ben Myers on Nola.com,

The BP money is not "dedicated to coastal restoration, but in fact sales tax reimbursements." Jefferson Parish residents are therefore "entitled to have their infrastructure and capital improvement needs addressed, and our employees given a raise," Zahn said.

Maybe it isn’t “dedicated” but it should be.

Should JP employees get pay raises? Of course, if there’s money available.

But, not THIS money.

5 years after the BP oil spill, Grand Isle’s beaches (which, of course, isn’t in Zahn’s District), still have tar balls that wash up on shore.

But hey, if there’s any money left after the pay raises, Zahn wants it to go to the District Councilmen for projects. Let the Councilman who represents Grand Isle use his money for the beaches while Zahn and others pump their cuts into more projects that benefit…wait for it…their political contributors.

Hey, it takes money to get elected. And, of course, you have to pay Greggo and the Buissonettes.

Moving on to Imbecile #3…

IMBECILE #3 – LENNY CLINE

If it weren’t for the Zahn BP comments, Kenner District 4 Councilman Lenny Cline might be nipping at Mike Yenni’s heels.

Nah…

Of course Lenny, if you keep opening your mouth at Council meetings and to reporters, you just might surpass your hero Mikey.

In discussing a proposal for a new apartment complex at the site of the old movie theater in The Esplanade mall’s parking area, Cline said,

"I don't have any negative or positive thoughts on the project until I see all the evidence," Cline said. "I want to know what's going there and why, and what quality of units will be there."

So, you’re telling us that there’s a major residential project being proposed for your District and you “Want to know what’s going on there and why”?

Talk about being on the ball, doing your homework and representing your District! 

Yeah, and a couple of weeks back when I wrote “Will Someone Please Poke Lenny Cline and Wake Him Up?” one reader actually called me to say that perhaps I was a little hard on poor Lenny.

Now, before you get all excited Lenny and wet your pants, that person WASN’T a resident of District 4.

He was also sadly mistaken.

 As I’ve said repeatedly Lenny, I will stop shooting when you stop giving me the bullets.

So for being so completely ignorant of laws, rules, how to rank proposals and not knowing what’s going on with a major project that has already made it all the way to the Planning Commission (which has a member appointed by Lenny), Councilman Cline continues his streak of ClickJefferson.com appearances.

Which brings us to the #4 Kenner Political Imbecile, and also a client of Greg Buisson,

IMBECILE #4 – MARIA DeFRANCESCH

While the Kenner City Council was discussing a new retail development at Joe Yenni and Williams, Councilwoman-at-Large and Kenner’s Slumlord-In-Chief DeFrancesch questioned whether the developer had discussed his plans with the residents of the nearby Beachview Heights neighborhood.

The developer, Jody Grass, mentioned that he was expecting direction from the Council.

A clearly agitated Mike Yenni jumped in saying that District 3 Councilman Keith Reynaud had discussed the project at a Beachview Heights Civic Association meeting.

How Yenni knew that off the top of his feeble brain, is shocking.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of my mind being blown!

Not putting it past Reynaud or saying that he didn’t advise the Civic Association, just wondering how Yenni knew and was quicker to pipe up than Reynaud himself.

As usual, DeFrancesch tried to backpedal for fear of upsetting the Yenni but not before Reynaud complained of “personal attacks”.

DeFrancesch claimed that "We don't do personal attacks here ... sorry that's not acceptable."

No, the Council reserves the personal attacks for private citizens like yours truly, right Lenny?

It’s all good though because I have several things that Mike Yenni and his “Consensus Team” don’t including:

1). Intelligence

2). An IQ significantly above 30 (or whatever number they give you just for signing your name).

3). The ability to speak and write the English language

4). A sharp wit.

5). A blog that ties everything together and allows me to entertain you, and myself, on a regular basis.

But really, what are you laughing at? Many of you voted for these folks.

Fortunately, many more of you didn't. But, that's another post. 

Happy Friday peeps!